Relationships

‘What will you do with your one wild and precious life?’

Taken from ‘The Summer Day’ by poet Mary Oliver, it’s a question I put to my coaching and therapy clients. It’s a question that’s relevant whether they have achieved all they set out to achieve in life or find themselves in a stagnant career and want to pivot.

At some point, we all wake up and wonder if we are living the life we want.

My first step with any client facing this dilemma is to unpack what it really means to them.

Nicole C Weiss LCSW

• Phone: 619-318-5012
• Email: [email protected]

There’s a certain type of client who comes to me with a very specific issue they wish to resolve.

Co-dependency.

The image these clients present to the world is a passive one, but that’s far from the truth. Their need to be less dependent is usually linked to just one person or one relationship but what surprises them is my response to their ‘problem’, which goes something like this:

“What I really want is for you to become dependent on way more people”.

This sounds at odds with our individualistic, egocentric culture but let’s take a walk back in time.

Nicole C Weiss LCSW

• Phone: 619-318-5012
• Email: [email protected]

I will forgive myself for behaving badly in my 20’s while I was trying to figure out who I was. I wasn’t a big party person but I was a know it all.

I thought I understood boundaries and relationships but now I know that I was mostly being an asshole (and a teeny bit judgemental).  I forgive myself because at the time they were the best decisions I knew how to make.

I am not an asshole anymore and I have learned.  It’s time to forgive myself.

Nicole C Weiss LCSW

• Phone: 619-318-5012
• Email: [email protected]